A Little Insight Into Why I Do What I Do…

john3_16love1

I want to share with you a little bit about why I am a stay at home mother.  I am very hesitant to share this with you to avoid sounding self-righteous or facing judgement based on my decisions.  Unfortunately for me, God wants ya’ll to know this about me, so I will share.  It was His idea afterall that I start this blog to begin with…

Jesus said:

“Give us this day our daily bread.”  Matthew 6:11

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth…but lay up yourselves treasures in heaven…for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”  Matthew 6:19-21

“Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on.  Is not life more than meat, and the body more than raiment?”  Matthew 6:25

“For your Heavenly Father knows that ye have need of all these things.  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.  Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.  Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”  Matthew 6:33-34

Wow!  I have read this a hundred times and never processed it quite like I did this time.  This time when I read it, I was actually in a position in which I do pray for daily manna from above.  You see, for me to stay at home with the kids we are giving up a decent supplementary income.  Our family is sacrificing a lot of our comforts for me to be at home.  Each month we learn to live a little bit more lean.

So, why don’t I go back to work?

Because God wants me at home.  I pray almost daily (I’m certainly far from perfect) for God to show me what I need to do.  As in:  go back to work or keep on keeping on at home.  He continues to make it exceedingly clear that I am to be AT HOME.  So, here I am.

I am tempted daily to call my boss and tell her I will be back (especially monthly when she sends me those sweet texts reminding me that they miss me and could use a little bit of help).  It seems completely illogical to me not to at least pick up a few kids.  They need me, I need the money.  What is God doing here?  I have NO idea.

I do know that my kids are thriving at home.  Young children thrive with a mother’s love.  And there is certainly no shortage there.  Not that there would be a shortage of love if I was working.  I am just able to show them that love constantly right now.  I am raising God’s littlest warriors who will be confidant and secure based on the love that I am able to show them.  “I love because God loved me first” 1 John 4:19.

But still, I am constantly tempted to go back to work so that we don’t have to eat beans two, three, maybe four times a week.  So that I don’t have to pick one of my 4 total dresses to wear to church each Sunday.  So we can buy our kids those cute boutique clothes that I know they would look adorable in.  I could certainly go on, but you get the point.  This scripture was written for me to read today.  I have a roof over my head, clothes to wear to church, and my family’s bellies are full.  That is all I need for today.  God gave me my manna.  Now, I will go seek the kingdom of God trusting that he knows just what I need for tomorrow.

You see, God always knows.  I am stubborn and unwilling to believe he is going to provide everything that I need to get through a day of my life.  That stubborness might actually be stupidity since God has already provided manna for my family and I on a regular basis.  Let me name a couple of times for you:

A few months ago I wasn’t sure how we were going to afford shoes for my little girl who’s foot had already outgrown the biggest shoes we owned.  That worry started to dwindle when my mom texted me from Target asking MK’s shoe size.  Then, it was completely gone when she dropped of a bag full of brand new shoes and let me help her order brand new tennis shoes for MK.  You say, that was my mom helping us out.  Yes, it was.  But I had not mentioned to my mom that we were that desperate for new shoes for MK.  That was God using my mom to do His work.

And another time, he used my mom…I met my mom at the Farmer’s Market last week not knowing how MK or I were going to eat lunch.  We were out of our staple (peanut butter) which was necessary for our PB&J.  We had no other groceries, and were trying to hold out on another trip to the grocery store until payday.  Mom asked if we would meet her at the market.  I told her that we would, but that we didn’t need to buy anything.  We went, and my mom insisted on buying me a jar of almond butter (among a few other things).  I was too proud to let her know that without that jar of almond butter, I didn’t know what we would be able to scrounge up for dinner.  I praised my LORD and SAVIOUR all the way home.

After reading this, I am sure you are thinking that I really am stupid, that maybe we are scraping the bottom of the barrel money wise and I need to suck it up and get back to work.  There are always a ton more people worse off than we are.  We have a nice home and several luxuries.  We would not have starved without that peanut butter.  I do have a credit card that would have worked fine for some groceries (but I could not find it that day).  I am not trying to get you to feel sorry for me, and make donations.  All I want, is for you to see God working in my life so that you will let him work in yours.  I could easily go to work and get more money, but that wouldn’t be seeking His Kingdom first after he has told me to stay home.  For today, I will stay home with my babies.  Who knows what the morrow may bring?

Nicole

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